i think you're crazy

11:54pm: there is no more art.

11:42pm: and here i am again

sweating in my parents house my eyes are burning from too much white screen i missed willie nelson and i sleep all day

like they say

i am waiting.

i thought i disappeared, i went away, there was no more me just this new being.

or this new ghost

walking and talking and wearing my clothes and im still stuck on that same idea but i was new and my past was left behind and i cant even remember who my friends were!

then here i am, sweating in the white walls

remembering when

but the memories are frightful. and the world is an awful

awful place.

dear lord, let me wake up tomorrow, in a different place, with a different name. let me be beautiful. everyone will have forgiven me. lead me out of the dark place.

and let there be no more births; i wish it upon no one.

12:42pm: yo.
The caucus was yesterday. It was good. Obama took our state with a thirty six percent (or so) margin. I am a representative for my precinct. how exciting.

my chest is hating my throat thta hates my body.

john's mom is here.

I hate work and i have been neglecting school.

2:46am: She put on happiness like a loose dress
Over pain I'll never know
"So the peace you had," she says,
"I must confess, I'm glad to see it go."
We're two white roses lying frozen just outside his door
I've made you so happy and so sad,
But which should I be more sorry for?

10:18am: im taking spanish intro to literature and creative writing.

but imgoing to be a math major.

9:20pm: i have been neglecting the internet lately. going on for less than three seconds every week. which is a good. thing. but.

i cant handle depression. sad kids. i cant handle them. it bores me.

i cant handle mid 30s low lives sharing lines with children.

11:29pm: i am sick of righteousness.
i am sick of self righteousness.

i wish i was back at that time and janel's old house sitting up against the wall sharing whiskey from my flask and wine from a glass with gary and watching jordaan stand up and sing.

11:06am: HOUSEKEEPING.

back to forgetting.

12:05am: i wish i could write in here why i am so angry. i almost did. then i stopped myself remembering previous much less angry entries that caused much drama because some people reading this decide to tell everyone about my
friends only post
livejournal is stupid.
myspace is stupid
i am stupid.

12:46pm: this is my cousin talking to me on aim.


Super27vlad: hi
Jascheua: hello.
Super27vlad: :-Dwhat are you doing
Jascheua: playing guitar
Super27vlad: Who are you playing guitar
Super27vlad: What are doing
Super27vlad: What are you doing right now
Jascheua: playng guitar still.
Super27vlad: Who are you playing with
Jascheua: no one
Super27vlad: So you are not playing with on one
Jascheua: n0pe
Super27vlad: What are you doing right now
Jascheua: same as ive been doing
Jascheua: things dont change.

2:33pm: jeffree star jsut cut my hair.

7:59pm: please dont click this